Spock is Pretty Gay: Star Trek Review
Gaaay!
- The shattering of expectations: What should be greasy and chewy and a little crunchy is actually soft and creamy
- The jumping to conclusions: Someone replaced your sticks with spider-egg pouches!
- Desire for revenge: Whoever put spider eggs in your sticks is gonna pay.
- Back to the moment at hand: Do you spit it out, or do you bite the bullet and swollow? Both are not fun…
- Sudden epiphany: Ohhhhhh, I’ve tasted this before, it’s a twinkie! Mmm not bad.
All this of course takes place in just under 1 moment. Now apply this same scenario to a two-hour-long movie. A strange experience to say the least.
Spock is Gay
Well, getting to meat of the matter, Spock is gay. Now I’m not talking the kind of gay where you have a lot of butt-sex and sport assless chaps and a mustache made out of the condom you will end up not using, no. This is the kind of gay where you really like musicals shopping on the weekend and brunch. The lisp, the high-pitched voice and the anal retentiveness, not to mention the stylish haircut do not lend themselves to the logical, non-gay Vulcans Yes, I know Spock and the African ear-girl are hot and heavy and he might not be actually homosexual, but Spock is totally gay.
A few afterthoughts
The villain: Lame. Lame and troubled and overly dramatic like all the other star-trek villains. Time paradoxes rarely work in a movie, and this is no exception. Predatory alien animals are not as retarded as that big red thing on the ice planet - there would be no roaring then eating. There would only be eating.
Also, there is this:
_kieran